Couple Dead in East Hampton Murder-Suicide
It’s been a rough summer in the Hamptons. Last weekend, a bouncer was beaten to death by a patron at Southampton Publick House—the village’s first murder in over twenty years. Now, the New York Post is reporting an apparent murder-suicide in East Hampton: After receiving “numerous hang-up” calls early this morning, police arrived at a house on Cedar Trail Road and found a 64-year-old man dead of a self-inflicted gunshot to the head. His injured wife, also 64, was rushed to the Southampton Hospital and then Stony Brook University Medical Center, where she was later pronounced dead. The identities of the couple have not yet been released.
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Hubby: "Rachel, we really need to talk. I talked to my accountant, and, well, I really don't have the money for this place after all. We're going to have to do something here. We can't continue like this. I BARELY made a million five last year, and I can't continue paying a $24 million mortgage! We're going to have to put this place up for sale and move to something less opulent---maybe a six-bedroom- type deal over in the town. Maybe I'll sell one one of the boats, too."
Wife: "What?! Are you kidding me, Miles? Sale? Move out of the village? Are you insane? Have you been lying to me about the money we* (insert joke of choice here) have saved? You told me that you were worth over $65 million two years ago, and now you're telling me that we have to sell this house?! What the fuck happened, Miles?! What happened to your developments in Jersey, Miles?! What the fuck happened to your goddamned fucking....toy distributorship in Shanghai, Miles?!! What the FUCK happened to THAT?!! You said that was a gold mine, that we'd be set forever! This house isn't even 20,000 square feet, and you expect me to move into something smaller?!!! Well, fuck you, Miles! Fuck you! Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you! I should have listened to my mother and married Sandy Rosen!!! Now there was a man! All right, he was nothing to look at, but what a provider!