The Bathtub Is Half Full

Ground Zero as the Lower Manhattan Development Corporation's webcam sees it. The Onion agrees with New York officials who said this week that it is better to celebrate our accomplishments rather than criticize our failures:

"From the wreckage and ashes of the World Trade Center, we have created a recess in the ground befitting the American spirit," said New York Governor George Pataki from a cinderblock-and-plastic-bucket-supported plywood platform near the Hole's precipice. "This vast chasm, dug at the very spot where the gleaming Twin Towers once rose to the sky, is a symbol of what we can accomplish if we work together."

-Matthew Schuerman