The Transom
Articles in The Transom
Where There's a Will: Ferrell Almost Comes To Blows! Cue Cowbell!
Hey, slackers! Will Ferrell thinks it’s time to shape up … or ship out. “There is this phenomenon of grown children who either live at home or move back home,” said the comic actor, discussing the theme of his latest comedy, Stepbrothers, which co-stars John C. Reilly.
It was Monday, July 21, and Mr. Ferrell, a cuddly 41, was hunched in the corner at a party on the Empire Hotel’s rooftop—hosted by Maxim magazine following a private screening of the movie—dressed in a green rugby shirt with the word “Ireland” printed across it, jeans and sneakers with orange reflector stripes. “There is this whole new wave of entitlement right now, and a lot of young people are like, ‘I don’t want to do just any job, it has to be a good job and what’s the starting salary?’” he continued. read more »
Ashanti Adores Michelle Obama; ABC Anchor Hoists Feminist Torch High
On Monday, July 21, at the top floor of the Hearst Tower, a crowd of wealthy-looking women gathered for a reception and panel discussion sponsored by Every Woman Counts, a nonpartisan endeavor of Redbook magazine and the Lifetime Network encouraging ladyfolk to participate in the coming election. And by “participate,” we assume they mean to wave placards around, perhaps; to knock on doors, sure—but also to just plain vote!
Redbook editor in chief Stacy Morrison said the event correlated nicely with her goals for the magazine: to bring women together. “I think women are resistant to the polarizing aspect of politics,” she said, conjuring a lovely, idealistic image of Our Bodies, Ourselves-era post-hippies braiding one another’s hair and clasping hands over “I’d Like to Teach the World to Sing. read more »
Muffie's Swish Beach Club Mulls Tinsley and Topper
Prominent socialite couple Tinsley and Topper Mortimer have been “proposed” for membership at the famously stuffy Southampton Bathing Corporation—or as it’s nicknamed, “Beach Club”—immortalized both in Tom Wolfe’s 1987 The Bonfire of the Vanities and the movie Born Rich, Jamie Johnson’s seminal journey into the pickled minds of young rich people. (“I brought three Jewish girls to the club today for lunch,” golfer Ray Floyd’s lil’ gal Christina told the camera. “Who knows? I may get kicked out tomorrow.”)
A member of the club, whose roster includes Nina Griscom, Cristina Greeven Cuomo and Muffie Potter Aston, told the Transom that a newsletter circulating there announced the young Mortimers are under review this summer. Since the Mortimer name is old hat at the club, they should presumably have no problem.
mbryan@observer.com
Oh Ciccone! Chance Collision With Madonna's Not-So-Buff Bro
To its surprise, the Transom ran into designer Christopher Ciccone—SMACK!—outside the Rouge Wine Bar at Paris Commune in the West Village. Madonna’s short, paunchy but sensual brother had flown in from London early that evening and was flying to Los Angeles the following morning—part of the whirlwind press tour surrounding his book, Life With My Sister Madonna (Simon Spotlight Entertainment, $26).
Wearing jeans, black sneakers, a tight black T-shirt and a veil of cinnamon-inflected cologne, he was there to see aspiring Broadway star (and dear friend) Ryan Raftery’s one-man show, Ryan Raftery and Friends: A Solo Act.
“There are plenty of things I left out of the book, and things that the lawyers and editors took out,” Mr. read more »
Girls Gone Gilded: Malibu Bimbos Burble for Direct-Marketed Baubles

At a clambake celebrating the Lia Sophia jewelry line at the so-called Project Beach House in Malibu on Sunday, July 13, a chilly coastal wind blew so hard that the fledgling starlets present spent much of their time holding their skirts down.
This surely didn’t bother Girls Gone Wild kingpin Joe Francis, who said he came to the event because he was in need of “a beach day.” Wearing baggy cargo shorts, a worn blue T-shirt and flip-flops, Mr. Francis, who was released from a Nevada jail in March, seemed a bit befuddled by the festivities, asking, “What does Lia Sophia do?” and later remarking that he loves “Santa Barbara this time of year. read more »
Sacco Shockeroo! Golden-Haired Giantess Lacks All-Access Pass to New York Nightlife
Nightlife’s Amy Sacco, the blond, towering tsarina of Lot 61 and Bungalow 8, claims she often gets turned away from rival clubs. “But I just walk away,” Ms. Sacco told the Transom at the Monday, July 14, premiere of The Doorman, a “scripted documentary” about the powerful rulers of that oligarchy known as the meatpacking district, in which she appears along with actor and director Peter Bogdanovich, People’s Revolution flack Kelly Cutrone and photographer Patrick McMullan. “I would never threaten their job,” Ms. Sacco said of the velvet ropes’ guardians. “I feel for them!”
She described how someone seeking entry to one of her exclusive boîtes “told me this elaborate story of how they knew my mother, who lives in Chatham, N. read more »
A Hard Day's Knight: Somber Celebs Tread Black Carpet at Batman Premiere
Attending the premiere of Warner Brothers’ Batman: The Dark Knight at AMC Loews Lincoln Square on Monday, July 14: the film’s stars Christian Bale, Maggie Gyllenhaal (wearing charcoal Dries Van Noten splashed with flowers and accompanied by husband Peter Sarsgaard), Morgan Freeman, Gary Oldman and Aaron Eckhart; actors Ethan Hawke, Edie Falco, Josh Hartnett, Seth Green and Emile Hirsch; plus Gossip Girl’s Blake Lively, Penn Badgley and Ed Westwick.
So whom did we nab? Screenwriter David Goyer! “This film is intense intense,” he said. “It’s about escalation, both good and bad.” What’s new about this Batman? “He’s the most realistic. read more »
Will Socialite Vandal Wohl Wind Up a 'Wife' in Suffolk County Slammer?
On Saturday, July 5, as reported by the New York Post five days later, boho socialite Arden Wohl was arrested by local police for writing “Ralphy Lipshits” in red lipstick on the side of the Polo Ralph Lauren store at 31 Main Street in East Hampton and—in full Independence Day spirit—stealing hand-held models of the Stars and Stripes on display inside the store.
“Someone at the store called and complained that the subject wrote graffiti on the side of the building and stole small American flags from the store,” Detective Sgt. Margaret Dunn of the East Hampton Village Police told the Transom.
The officer noted that Ms. read more »
Hamptons Detox
A toxic mixture of dread, fear, panic, paranoia and self-doubt was brewing in my head on my way out to the Hamptons the last weekend in June.
On the train, I sat on a fold-up chair next to the bathroom and listened to the contents of the bowl swish and swirl around, like the economy and the Bush administration. From time to time, I looked up from my novel (about a sleazy opportunistic journalist in late-19th-century Paris), saw baseball caps, tall boys, tattoos, flip-flops, and shuddered. read more »
I had been invited to stay at the large, elegant estate of the interior designer Tom Britt.
Fly Me to Montauk! Pack Ativan, Shades for the 'Anti-Jitney'
Debbie White, an entertainment lawyer with the firm Grubman Indursky & Shire, was inside the stuffy cabin of a floating Cessna seaplane docked at Manhattan’s Skyport Marina on Friday, June 27. “It’s kind of hot,” said Ms. White, clutching a cold beer. She was awaiting takeoff to sunny East Hampton, where she was scheduled to meet up with her celebrity clients, Dina Lohan and Ali Lohan, for an party promoting their E! network reality show, Living Lohan.
Traveling by car from Manhattan could take hours, depending on traffic. But if the frickin’ plane would ever take off, she could be there in under 40 minutes. read more »
Hunter Johansson, Bro of Ripe Peach, Saddles up for Denver: Scarlett's Reedy Bachelor Twin Ditches Borough Prez for Obama
A couple of weeks ago, Hunter Johansson, then a community organizer employed by Manhattan Borough President Scott Stringer, stopped a co-worker, Greg Kirschenbaum, in the lobby of 1 Centre Street.
“Hey, so I think I’m leaving the office and going to work for the Obama campaign,” Mr. Johansson, the twin brother of actress Scarlett Johansson, told Mr. Kirschenbaum.
“I remember, for a while he was asking all the community liaisons where would be the best place for him to go, and I actually recommended Colorado because I thought it would be a good place for him,” said the latter man, who sometimes walked over with Mr. read more »
Clinton Campaign Went Pfft, But Arianna Huffington Perpetuates Liberal Pantsuit Legacy
The second of Arianna Huffington’s New York parties for her subtly titled book, Right Is Wrong: How the Lunatic Fringe Hijacked America, Shredded the Constitution, and Made Us All Less Safe, published by Knopf, took place at the Upper East Side store of Italian designer Domenico Vacca on the evening of Monday, June 23. (The first was on May 9 at the Chambers Hotel, co-hosted by Rolling Stone publisher Jann Wenner and former Viacom CEO Tom Freston.)
Ms. Huffington, who was dressed in a tan pantsuit and an off-white silk blouse designed by Mr. Vacca, said she met the designer one year ago at a Tribeca Film Festival dinner, where she was introduced to him by friend and TFF president, Jennifer Maguire Isham. read more »
Heidi in Heels! Plus: Trumps Say New Dubai Dwelling to Be Exquisitely … Trumpy
A trio of mimes, dressed up like tall, white palm trees, were moving around quite admirably on stilts. Yet slinky model Heidi Klum was the one complaining about blisters during a lavish party at Seagram’s Plaza along Park Avenue on Monday, June 23, celebrating the erection of the Trump International Hotel & Tower in Dubai.
“I need to sit down—my feet hurt,” said Ms. Klum, clomping away from a scaled-down model of the structure (complete with mini-monorail) in four-inch platform heels. When the Transom respectfully requested more sound bites, she blushingly demurred, saying, “You vil have a lot of commas in there, and a lot of dots. read more »
Top Chef Stuffs a Wetsuit: Our Moist Elevator Encounter With TV's Sam Talbot
On Tuesday, June 24, just before 2 p.m., the Transom stepped into an elevator and all of a sudden found ourselves gazing at dreamy Top Chef contestant Sam Talbot.
Holy smokes! Er, who’s gonna win Top Chef season whatever?
“I don’t know,” said Mr. Talbot, who wore a tight black V-neck T-shirt that revealed bulging biceps, accentuated by a necklace with a giant shark tooth.
Shucks. So, what else is going on?
“I just opened a restaurant in the Hamptons.” Right, right—that seafood joint, the Surf Lodge. Does he surf? “No, I wakeboard,” said Mr. read more »
In Other '80s Comics News: Babes of Barnard Swoon for Chevy Chase
At Barnard College’s spring gala, held at Pier Sixty at Chelsea Piers on Monday, June 16, the Transom found alumna and former Seventeen editor, Atoosa Rubenstein, eight months pregnant with a daughter she plans on naming Angelika, wearing a pink dress, a beaded belt and steep, strappy sandals. “For my first day, I got my nails especially air-brushed with blue lightning blots,” she said, of arriving freshman year from Malverne, Long Island. “I wore torn bicycle shorts and had a huge Jon Bon Jovi poster on my wall. I was not one of the many cosmopolitan women that went to Barnard”—or did she mean Cosmopolitan women?—“but I learned how to be amongst them. read more »
Sarah Jessica Parker Blows Off Benefit For Fallen Baghdad Activist
Far be it from actress Sarah Jessica Parker to do something so clichéd as show up at her Sex and the City co-star Chris Noth’s bar, the Cutting Room, on West 24th Street—despite her position as honorary host of a benefit concert there, also on Monday, June 16.
A number of other entertainment luminaries, including the comedian and writer Al Franken, and the actresses Susan Sarandon and Natalie Portman, likewise lent their names, if not their presence, to the charity event, a fund-raiser for the fledgling Andi Foundation, which provides scholarships in memory of Andrea Parhamovich, a young activist with the Washington-based National Democratic Institute who was killed during an ambush on her convoy in Baghdad last year. read more »
You Want a Shake With Them Friars, Ma'm? Feting Frankie Valli, Piscopo Trots Out Ye Olde Sinatra Spoof
At its annual gala at Cipriani on 42nd Street on Monday, June 16, the Friars Foundation, the charitable arm of the comedians’ clubhouse, presented a Creative Achievement Award to legendary singer Frankie Valli, 74, dressed in a woven ecru shirt that “I looked through my wardrobe and found,” he told the Transom. We noted his lack of neckwear. “I hate ties,” he said. That’s O.K., sir—we hate heels!
In attendance: actor Michael Longoria, who plays Mr. Valli in the hit Broadway show Jersey Boys, and Burt Bacharach protégé Steve Tyrell, wearing a black beaded jacket that he quipped came from “a read more »
Where's Lapo? Shhhh! This Euro Wrangler Is No Eunuch, Ladies!
Italian playboy turned workaholic entrepreneur Lapo Elkann recently took on the appointment of Global Ambassador to the biggest hospital in the Middle East, the Chaim Sheba Medical Center at Tel Hashomer, which treats roughly two million Jewish and Muslim patients.
“My companies, they all start with an ‘I’ and end with an ‘I,’” said Mr. Elkann, founder in the past year of both Italia Independent, the lifestyle brand, and Independent Ideas, the advertising agency. He was watching a soccer match at a sports bar on Bleecker Street, hours before he was scheduled to catch a plane to Paris. After a few days there, he was planning to visit Italy for four days, followed by a trip to Iceland, where he’s working on yet another mysterious venture. read more »
Monarch of Momofuku Hires Pricey Carriage for Foodie Oscars
“It’s very surreal,” said David Chang, the hugely hyped hotshot at the helm of Manhattan’s three Momofuku restaurants, about taking top honors as the city’s best chef at the James Beard Foundation Awards at Avery Fisher Hall on Sunday, June 8. (The ceremony was hosted by Sex and the City’s Kim Cattrall, who “flirted” awkwardly onstage with Mesa Grill’s Bobby Flay and refused interviews.)
Mr. Chang had just bested a slate of industry vets, including Gramercy Tavern’s Michael Anthony, Picholine’s Terrance Brennan and WD-50’s Wylie Dufresne. “Those guys are the rock and foundation of New York, and I’m just a young punk,” he said modestly.
While many foodies were sniping about how such a young upstart earned a spot on the best-chef ballot to begin with, perhaps even more were gossiping about how Mr. Chang physically got to the ceremony: rolling up to the red carpet at Lincoln Center in one of two tricked-out party buses that he leased specifically for the evening’s festivities. “We invited a lot of chefs,” he explained. “Hopefully, guests don’t realize that all the chefs are absent from the kitchens tonight.”
Each 40-passenger bus—which cost a minimum of $2,100 apiece for the first six hours, according to the rental company, the Party Ride of Brentwood—came equipped with tinted black windows, custom black leather couch seating, disco lights, flat-screen TVs, surround-sound speakers and a smoke machine.
The mobile blowout began early. “We went to Daisy May’s BBQ,” Mr. Chang said. “My good friend Adam Perry Lang fed us and took good care of us. Then we were on our way here. … I don’t know what’s going to happen later; we’ll see.”
He rebuffed the Transom’s humble request to join the rejoicing chefs on board. “What happens there is going to stay on the bus,” he said.
cshott@observer.com
Amanda Hug and Kiss! Adolph Green's Daughter Holds Musical-Theater Torch High
Amanda Green is the daughter of the late playwright and lyricist Adolph Green—who formed a legendary, lasting collaboration with Betty Comden—and Broadway actress Phyllis Newman.
On Monday, June 9, Ms. Green—who has herself written lyrics, for the musical adaptation of Nick Hornby’s High Fidelity, and has worked with actors Mario Cantone and Christine Ebersole—directed and performed in a revue called Comden & Green’s New York, as part of a benefit for Greenwich House Music School in the West Village.
The production included 42nd Street’s Michael Arnold tapping out “Moses Supposes” from Singin’ in the Rain, as well as numbers from The Revuers, On the Town, and Bells Are Ringing. “I saw how much fun they were having, and I wanted to do it, too,” the tall, slender, bronzed Ms. Green, who is in her early 40s, said about her decision to follow her parents into music theater (older brother Adam is a journalist who has written for Vogue and The New Yorker). She recalled growing up on the Upper West Side, where the famille frequently entertained composers Leonard Bernstein, Julie Styne and Stephen Sondheim. “It was a lot of cool people.”
Despite her parents’ stringent warnings not to choose a career in showbiz, Ms. Green wrote and performed her first song at the age of 19, for their 25th wedding anniversary celebration, which took place at actress Lauren Bacall’s apartment in the Dakota on West 72nd Street and Central Park West. She was last in the lineup, after Messrs. Bernstein, Styne and Sondheim. “And Isaac Stern on violin, so it was a pretty intimidating debut.”
And how was her act received? “I was the sentimental favorite. What were they going to do?”
ialeksander@observer.com
Crossed in Translation: Besieged Bill Murray Pounds Pavement, Eats Pie with Poets
Poets House of Soho, founded by Stanley Kunitz and Elizabeth Kray in 1985, has long had a devoted patron in the actor Bill Murray, who played a cameo role in the Transom’s childhood: En route to nursery school one day, we met him shooting Ghostbusters at a firehouse on North Moore Street; according to the Transom’s mother, he offered to buy our Smurf lunchbox. (We declined.)
Despite or perhaps in defiance of recently reported marital difficulties, Mr. Murray was among the hundreds of men and women who gathered at Centre Street on Monday, June 9, for the House’s annual Poetry Walk Across the Brooklyn Bridge. “Would now be a good time to share our Smurf anecdote?” we asked our liaison. “Maybe later,” she said.
Poet Thomas Lux, the evening’s emcee and self-proclaimed Safety Captain, walked over the bridge backward, making sure, as he said, that no poetry nut was killed by a bicycle nut. On Fulton Ferry Landing, poet Martín Espada read lustily from a Mayakovsky poem, and Pulitzer Prize winner Galway Kinnell read, as he does every year, Walt Whitman’s “Crossing Brooklyn Ferry.”
During a banquet at Bubby’s Brooklyn, the Transom was told that Mr. Murray was in no mood to talk. A note was circulated, but never came back. Later, the star rose before the crowd. “I am aware,” he read, from Mr. Kinnell’s poem “Oatmeal,” as Mr. Kinnell turned his chair to face the lectern and ate from a plate of cherry pie in his lap, “it is not good to eat oatmeal alone.”
As the evening drew to a close, the Transom approached Mr. Murray directly, forgot the Smurf anecdote, and asked, instead, how reading poetry compares to acting.
“I like this,” Mr. Murray replied, before disappearing into the night, “because it’s a live take.”
wheinrich@observer.com
Rowrrrrrr! Manhattan's Fat Cats Size Up Last Candidates Standing
At the Wildlife Conservation Society on June 3 at the Central Park Zoo, we found a creature with a steely gaze and a hefty, 235-pound-ish build: Al Gore.
The Transom imagined that the former vice president was thinking the following: What am I doing here again? Oh, yeah, my daughter Karenna married a Schiff and they’re big supporters of this charity—therefore, I have to be here or I’m a dick even though I won a Nobel Prize and an Oscar for saving the planet. Say … that’s some porcupine.
Wearily, Mr. Gore shook our hand. “We’re not doing interviews tonight,” he said.
For comfort, we turned to his wife. Unfortunately, we greeted her not with our own name but with “Tipper Gore” and it came out all wrong—like we were reminding her who she was, or were trying to score points for recognizing her. Whatever it was, Ms. Gore had no interest telling us what animal she identified with the most.
Trial lawyer Ed Hayes was more forthcoming. “I hate to say this, but honestly, the animal that I relate to would be a wolf,” he said. “You know what else I love: zebras. I love the way they look.”
Writer and self-proclaimed zoologist Paul Gregory Speck bummed a cigarette. Mr. Speck, who looks exactly like Tennessee Williams (“they all say that”), said he identifies with leopards. “I love all of the great cats,” he said. “In fact, the little cats, too. I think they’re really the supreme beings among the animals.”
Later, after he’d chatted with Mr. Gore about energy conservation, Mr. Speck offered his opinion on the candidates: He said John McCain was most like a buffalo. (“Determined, indomitable, ferocious, stubborn.”)
“And we’ll give Obama ‘mountain gorilla,’” he said.
Was he sure about that?
“I was about to say spider monkey. Well, he does have certain simian movements and jungle fever—see, I think it’s going down the politically incorrect path. … Let’s say a bird, a bird might be better. Let’s say magpie. A magpie is a very talkative and intelligent bird, which is even capable of imitating sounds. A magpie is like a two-tone crow. It’s half-black, half-white.”
Interior decorator Mario Buatta told us he loves monkeys, and how when he was a kid, he’d go to the Staten Island Zoo and see Jocko the gorilla, a frequent masturbator.
“I like McCain. I think he’s a patriot, and he’s been through a lot,” Mr. Buatta said. “He’s old but he’s got experience. King of the jungle. An elephant.”
During dinner, we found a couple of fabulous socialites.
I’m like a mother lion,” said Muffie Potter Aston, who was wearing a pink silk dress. “I fiercely protect my children. I try to take care of my den and other people in the den, other peoples’ kids, anyone I love in my circle.”
Mr. McCain, she said, resembles a wolf, while Mr. Obama is like a horse.
“I’m a minx,” said Debbie Bancroft, wearing a diaphanous peacock-colored number. “I am some form of feline, because I am observant, selectively madly affectionate, clean and cool.”
And the candidates?
“I would think McCain is something sedentary. A black bear. Something that hibernates. I think it’s not a good thing. I think Obama is completely a sleek and observant and perceptive character and is awake in all seasons. Hillary has come and gone. I think she was a predator that missed her mark. Some form of feral cat that missed her prey.”
ggurley@observer.com
All About Yves: Le Roi de Pantsuits Remembered at CFDAs
“I’m very sad about Yves Saint Laurent, which is why I’m wearing a 30-year-old jacket,” Council of Fashion Designers president Diane Von Furstenberg, clad in a blue “Le Smoking”-esque number by the late designer, confided at the New York Public Library on Monday, June 2. “It’s from my attic.”
Mr. Saint Laurent, who died June 1 in Paris from a brain tumor, was much on people’s minds at this, the annual CFDA Awards, otherwise known as fashion’s Oscars. “He was wonderful, he was divine, he was mischievous,” Ms. Von Furstenberg said. “I loved him.” read more »
Gwynnie Will Get Free Babysitting While Hubby Prowls the Globe
“I have a broken toe and I walked here—I break them all the time!” said actress Blythe Danner (a.k.a. Gwyneth Paltrow’s mom), wearing not hideous gladiators but daisy-accented sandals with an elegant white pantsuit at Planned Parenthood’s One Million Strong Cocktail Party on Monday, June 3. She said she would be spending the summer with her grandchildren, Apple and Moses, while her son-in-law, Chris Martin, is on tour with Coldplay.
Ms. Danner was one of several Hollywood grandes dames, including Jane Fonda, Kathleen Turner and Jessica Lange, at the Prince George Ballroom in Murray Hill (or is it North Gramercy?) on Monday, June 2.
Ms. Fonda arrived as her typical glammed-up Southern self, wearing a tangerine-colored Issey Miyake blazer with a texture not unlike that of an egg carton. “We can get certain women in the White House that might as well be a man and we can get certain men in there that are feminists,” she said when asked about our presidential prospects. “I happen to think Obama is a feminist. In general, though, I think women govern in a less hierarchical, ‘I have power over you,’ more inclusive kind of way.”
Ms. Turner, wearing an Asian-style knotted jacket, seemd to agree. “The biggest difference between a woman and a man is of course compassion, ability to communicate and less ego!” she said in her signature raspy voice, adding that she’s been involved with Planned Parenthood since college. “I needed consultation, contraception and a sex education.” Who doesn’t, honey, who doesn’t...
ialeksander@observer.com
Living La Vida Lohan: Long Island Mama Dina Subs for Deadbeat John Stamos
On Friday, May 30, the Transom found reality-show star Dina Lohan, mother to actress Lindsay and three other children, at an event for Project Cuddle, a charity benefiting abandoned babies, in Port Washington, Long Island.
Hailing from North Merrick, Ms. Lohan is something of a local heroine: Last month, she was honored as one of the “Top 20 Long Island Mothers of Celebrities” by an organization called Mingling Moms. Don’t ask.
“I’m here because it’s so important,” she said. (Also? National spokesman John Stamos, the actor, couldn’t make it.) “I got this call like really late last night and they’re like, ‘Can you come?’”
Does she consider herself cuddly and a good cuddler? “O.K., that’s a really weird question. Cuddling means just to embrace your kids. They make me out to be some crazy mom. … I’m just there for my kids.”
But is E!’s Living Lohan a sendup of her family? “It’s not about me; it’s really about setting the record straight, and the world has gotten so ridiculous with the sensationalism—not you guys … I’m sorry.”
What else is cuddly? “When my kids want to sleep in my bed, which they do—that’s cuddly. And we have animals—that’s cuddly.”
What’s uncuddly?
“I don’t really know what that means. It’s kind of a derogatory question. Like you don’t wanna go dark. You just have to—laws of attraction. You know, if you breed good, you get good.”
We think that’s what she said. So there’s nothing uncuddly out there? “I am so not going there! There is no one uncuddly to me! And if they are, they’ll figure it out.”
We asked what she was wearing and she turned around so we could check the label of her fancy tan coat (Armani). Unfortunately we pulled down the back of her black lacy dress (Chanel) and she spun back around. “I said my coat! You looked at my dress!”
We did, Dear Reader, and we likey what we saw!
ggurley@observer.com
Men's Wear Designers Roll Eyes at Marc Jacobs's Facebook Exploits
Speaking of fashion! Now that we know the latest in Marc Jacobs’ love life at the click of his Facebook page, the Transom was wondering: Will other designers follow suit?
“I don’t have a Facebook page,” said Thom Browne, rolling his eyes. “I have no interest in people knowing my personal life.” Mr. Browne was speaking at Ago Ristorante in Tribeca on Thursday, May 29, at a party thrown by GQ. “I have no idea what’s going on with Marc Jacobs,” he sniffed. “I hope he’s having a good time.”
Last year, Mr. Browne was romantically linked to an angelic Columbia undergrad—does he have someone in his life now? “My personal life is personal!” he said. So quaint!
A few feet away, designer Michael Bastian was asked about the Jacobsian way. “Well, I don’t have a Facebook account for that exact reason!” he said. “But you also don’t have a choice at a certain point. When you become such a superstar like that—I’m nowhere near that—that’s part of the price that you pay. Either you don’t give a shit and you roll with it, or you don’t live your life.”
Meanwhile, over at the bar, there was West Village habitué John Bartlett, currently creating a line for Liz Claiborne. Would he put it out there on the Net? “No, not anymore,” he said. “When I broke up with my lover of 12 years, it was in Page Six—it was kind of horrifying! Now I’m very happily married.” (To custom framer John Esty.) But married-married? Like California-style?
“Well, we haven’t gotten married in front of our families. But we feel married. We’re still negotiating, our lawyers are still negotiating!”
jkoblin@observer.com
Toreador, Don't Spit on the Floor: We Charge Like Wild-Eyed Bull Through El Museo Gala
During El Museo del Barrio’s 15th annual gala at the 42nd Street Cipriani on Thursday, May 22, tiaras were distributed on trays, in keeping with the Latin American tradition of the quinceañera (kinda like a sweet 16 but a year earlier and more formal). Miss Teen USA Hilary Cruz and Miss USA Crystle Stewart arrived wearing their own recently bestowed crowns. Cute, ladies!
The event was co-chaired by husband-and-wife collaborators Ruben Toledo, the artist, and fashion designer Isabel Toledo, until recently charged with the makeover of label Anne Klein. Both are of Cuban descent, but met when they were just 13 in West New York, New Jersey. “She has a theory that if you marry early, it actually works out well because you sort of change together,” said Mr. Toledo, who has a faint pencil moustache that makes him look a bit like Gomez Addams in The Addams Family.
Though traditional quinceañera wear is white, designer Nicole Miller arrived in a feather-accented black gown with artist Romero Britto, who was wearing a white blazer festooned with splashy giant red and black kisses. “We met in Miami through Absolut Vodka!” Ms. Miller told the Transom. “Years ago, I designed a tie for Absolut and Romero designed a dress, so we met at an event for that.” Carmen Unanue, of the Unanue family that owns Goya Foods, was also clad in negro. “Very elegant,” she said. “And very New York.”
It's a Brill a Minute! Media Watchdog Steven on Daughter's Giddy Internet Adventure
How does Steven Brill—the entrepreneur and journalist whose many ventures include Court TV, American Lawyer magazine and the now defunct media-watchdog monthly Brill’s Content—feel about his daughter Emily Brill’s fledgling blog, Essentially Emily: Confessions of a 5th Avenue Misfit, whose topics include “elite private schools,” “Ritalin,” “fashion,” “exotic trips” and “nightlife”?
“It’s getting better every day,” Mr. Brill e-mailed from a vacation in Umbria. “It’s quite a distance from when she was writing a brilliant honors thesis in prep school about the electoral college, but it’s well-written and has a distinctive voice. It’s now clear that the more she does it, the better she is getting at it.” Does he mind being mentioned, as in an April 23rd post signed “Misfit”? (“Are we seeing eye to eye right now? Not exactly. He keeps telling me to ‘Get a J-O-B.’”) “I often wish she wouldn’t,” Mr. Brill wrote. “Then again, there are people I’ve written about who’ve had the same reaction, to put it mildly.”
Ms. Brill, 25, attributed her decision to blog with a long-standing interest in journalism, along with confidence gained after shedding 100 pounds last year. “I had a family newspaper in fourth grade with a subscription base of four people—my parents and two siblings—called The Brill Family Times that I would slide under their bedroom doors,” she told the Transom, adding that she rued posting a video of herself laughing over a private voice mail left by Men’s Vogue editor Hudson Morgan. “I learned a lot from that. I do have journalistic integrity, and I will have it from now on.”
Is My Ames True? Writers Flit, Flirt Through Lit-Mag Benefit
“I’m interrogating a minor, and then I’ll be with you,” writer and amateur pugilist Jonathan Ames told the Transom at a benefit for the literary magazine Open City on Thursday, May 22. Young, pretty lady-intellectuals were wafting through several connecting rooms in N.Y.U.’s Lillian Vernon Creative Writers House in the Village, under the gaze of literary éminences grises captured in photographs on the walls. Mr. Ames, who’s known a few trannies in his time and was without his recent escort, singer Fiona Apple, finished talking to the poetess with the plunging neckline and then explained that when he forgets someone’s name at a party, he quotes the Michael Powell-Emeric Pressburger movie The Red Shoes: “Life rushes by—time rushes by, but the red shoes go on dancing forever.”
In the middle chamber, the very tall Open City editor Thomas Beller thanked guests and introduced the author Robert Stone, who read from his story “High Wire,” something about California, love, loss and getting older. The guests pressed forward in tightly compressed circles to listen; by the wall, a woman in a red jacket held her sleeping blond daughter in her arms under a black-and-white photo of Philip Roth in blue jeans, his hands in his pockets, thumbs pointing at his crotch. “In the sack,” read Mr. Stone, “she told me about her early life in Fresno.” Playwright and actor Wallace Shawn, looking dapper and accompanied by his longtime companion, the writer Deborah Eisenberg, appeared by the door, then quickly disappeared.
E! is for Eek! Michael Lohan Critiques Ex-Wife's Show; Kim Kardashian Botches Good Deed for Burma
Actress Lindsay Lohan’s father, Michael, was on the phone from his house in Southampton, none too pleased about ex-wife Dina’s new reality show, Living Lohan, which premiered on the E! network Monday, May 26.
“I don’t believe in hypocrisy and deception,” he said, adding that the show is a farce. “She’s supposed to show how she’s a mother and a manager, right? First of all, if she’s acting as mother, why the heck is [son] Cody always going to sports alone or with a driver? You never see her doing homework with the kids.”
On the show, Dina appears to keep a spotless house; Michael suggested otherwise. “The place is always a mess,” he said. “She doesn’t even know what the word ‘laundry’ is.
“And she’s surrounding the kids with all the wrong people,” he continued. “In one episode”—he’s seen advance copies—“her brother Paul Sullivan, he’s out on bail, and he’s sitting at the table. They won’t even show her other brother, who just got arrested for DUI and drug possession.” (As reported in The New York Post.)
The angry father, who unsuccessfully pitched his own show, Deeds, about doing God’s good work, said he’d spent the afternoon fielding phone calls about his upcoming court date with Dina, regarding custody arrangements, on June 3. He said Ms. Lohan had missed 19 of the last 30 of those appointments.
Elsewhere in E! reality-show news: Keeping Up With the Kardashians star Kim Kardashian stirred up controversy recently when she leaked the public-service announcement she shot on the weighty subject of Burma on her personal Web site. Fanista.com, which produced the spot, had intended to hold the video in light of the cyclone.
In the segment, Ms. Kardashian discusses the embattled country with her sister Kourtney, while picking out a skimpy outfit for a benefit in its honor. “What’s this benefit for again, burping?” she asks. “Burma, not burping,” replies her sister.
“It’s hard to know what’s most offensive about this PSA,” quipped blogger Tyler Durden.
The mini-movie is one of more than 30 in a series of 60-second shorts varying in tone and featuring comedians Will Ferrell and Sarah Silverman and the actress Jennifer Aniston. The idea being to use celebrities to draw attention to a very serious cause, and the Burma It Can’t Wait campaign, said fanista.com founder Dan Adler.
“Unfortunately, due to extremely bad timing, Kim prematurely released the commercial on her Web site,” said commercial and music video director Brandon Kraines, who co-wrote the sketch with writer David Nickoll. The spot was filmed some three weeks prior to the cyclone.
But why use Ms. Kardashian in the first place? “At the time she had a No. 1 hit reality show,” said Mr. Kraines, who recently helmed a System of the Down video and an online “viral” starring Jessica Alba. Mr. Kraines noted that the Kardashian video had generated around 250,000 page views; the second-most-viewed PSA in the series had 30,000. “If anyone misconceptualized the spot, all I have to say is, ‘Watch it again and listen to the dialogue,’” he said. “This is not something that was supposed to stir up controversy.”
Hair, Clothes, Makeup--Poof! Stylists Groom Selves for Soiree
Also on Monday, May 19: Hair, makeup and costume people decked themselves out for the Designing Hollywood Awards, distributed by New York Women in Film & Television during a ceremony held at the Time-Life Building.
Actress Bebe Neuwirth, of Cheers, Frasier and Broadway fame, told the audience that it was a makeup artist’s fabulous lipstick and lip-liner that “gave me my character” for The Paint Job, about a woman dating a serial killer. A “just disgusting” pair of boots inspired the dapper and dignified Pierce Brosnan, his costume designer revealed, “to let go of the ego” and adopt a sleazy strut for the hit-man comedy The Matador. And the legendary Faye Dunaway gushed in a video tribute that the wig and hairstylist who tends to her wavy golden tresses is “one of the very special people in my life.”
Costume designer Catherine Marie Thomas was honored for her work in movies such as Kill Bill and A Prairie Home Companion. Another honoree, makeup artist Patricia Regan, who appeared not to be wearing any cosmetics herself, allowed that actors are “not always” cooperative when she applies disturbing, macabre or weird face paint. (Surely not endearingly creepy Christopher Walken, who appeared on a screen while Ms. Regan spoke, as a vampire in the 1995 film The Addiction.)
After a softball Q&A led by InStyle managing editor Charla Lawhon, coiffeuse Colleen Callaghan noted that in the five decades that she’s been working, only one actor wanted a hairpiece as a souvenir: Dakota Fanning’s little sister, Elle, who sports long red locks as the child version of Cate Blanchett in the upcoming The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. “She loved her wig,” Ms. Callaghan said. “But she’s only about 8 years old.”
They Shoot Horses, Don't They? Eighties It Girl Ally Sheedy Says No Bacon in Her Breakfast Club
The only vegan member of Congress, Dennis Kucinich (D-Ohio), was drifting calmly through Cipriani Wall Street on Saturday, May 17, wearing a patterned bow tie, a gold-embossed flag pin and a strangely youthful glow. “I’m in the best shape I’ve ever been in,” said Mr. Kucinich, 61, who stopped eating meat decades ago to combat a severe case of Crohn’s disease. “I could probably beat most people half my age in a sprint. Not kidding.” Not laughing!
He was there for a fund-raising gala thrown by Farm Sanctuary, which rescues and protects farm animals. The party was emceed by television host Melissa Rivers, who told the Transom that a difficult pregnancy had ended her brief flirtation with vegetarianism. Still, “I’m not a huge meat eater,” she said, “and if I do, it’s an occasion, and then it sits in my stomach like a brick.”
Actress Ally Sheedy also professed discomfort digesting flesh. “Honestly, I feel like, why do we eat meat at all?” she said. “I do eat fish. I find that a little bit easier.”
Ms. Sheedy was talking with Michele Balan, a comedian in a serious mood. “We tend to blame everything on China and the third-world countries, but in this country it’s just as bad,” Ms. Balan said. “I was horrified at the Kentucky Derby when they shot that horse.”
“They didn’t shoot the horse!” Ms. Sheedy gasped. “They euthanized it.”
Hip-hop mogul Russell Simmons lurked behind a pillar with his gazelle-like girlfriend, actress Porscha Coleman. “Every so often I get a glimpse of obvious truth,” Mr. Simmons said softly, “and the obvious truth is the abuse of animals is a horrible thing.”
As the crowd was prodded downstairs for dinner, servers were circulating platters of mock-chicken nuggets. “Usually the waiters steal food,” one said. “Not tonight.”
Plaza to Raise Roof: Striving for Scenesters, Hotel Hires Mixmaster
Management at the Plaza is paying a million dollars to an electronic-music composer, one Ariel Blumenthal, to create a two-hour soundtrack for its revamped Rose Bar (along with Frank Sinatra remixes for the lobby). “They said they want the downtown people to come uptown,” Mr. Blumenthal, who has been working on the project amid workmens’ marble drilling between 1 and 7 a.m., told the Transom during a visit the other night.
The décor was already in place: Persian onyx bar top, gold Greek-key furniture detailing, lots of velvet and fringe. A “heavy, older kind of setting,” is how the composer, who is 34, described it.
A resident of L.A. who was born in Tel Aviv and educated at Berklee College of Music in Boston, Mr. Blumenthal researched the Plaza project by prowling New York’s hotel bars with a colleague. He was not impressed. “You hear a very narrow sound image so everybody can speak and make noise,” he said. “That’s it. The whole night. On the other hand, when you go to a club, then you hear all the low end—the beats and all that. What we’ve created here is something much more dramatic.”
The four tracks Mr. Blumenthal has composed for the Rose Club include a “Plaza theme”—embedded, he said, because “they didn’t want it to feel too commercial.” By the bar, the beat is louder and more insistent; next to the staircase on the lower level, the sound is muted enough to permit conversation. And off in an enclave he has dubbed “the stoner corner,” one hears lots of bass and guitars and not much else. “You won’t be able to play this mix in any other room,” he said, “because it’s mixed into this specific setup of these specific speakers here. The music is kind of embedded in the wall.”
Everything Was Beautiful at the Ballet: Lincoln Center Teeters With Trumps, Tory, Taylor for Big Gala... Don't Tug on Their Tut
“Tonight is what I call menu night: You get a little taste of what the company does throughout the season,” said socialite and American Ballet Theater board member Blaine Trump during intermission at the company’s opening night and spring gala at the Metropolitan Opera House on Monday, May 19. “To be honest, I always thought I was going to be a ballerina when I grew up,” she added. “And I am still hoping it will happen someday!”
Ms. Trump was not alone in rhapsodizing about Capezio flats and tutus after the elaborate performances, which featured company members Irina Dvorovenko and David Hallberg in intricate costumes. “I was taking ballet till I was about 10,” said the designer Tory Burch. “But then the toe shoes came and that was about it for me.”
“I took ballet for about six years when I was growing up, but I was no swan,” said 5-foot-9 model Molly Sims. “I had a very pretty pink tutu, but I didn’t know my left foot from my right foot.” The leggy lady admitted to being envious of the dancers: “Their bodies are just perfectly sculpted—of course I’m jealous!”
Speaking of bodies: Donald Trump Jr.’s wife, Vanessa Trump, was eager to tell Ms. Sims about her postpartum weight loss. “Sixty pounds!” she proudly declared. (Kai, a girl, was born in May 2007.) “Being a mom is like the hardest job, but it’s the best work; just seeing her say mama and wanting you to hold her,” Ms. Trump said as Ms. Sims smiled and tilted her head understandingly.
More Trumps! Donald Sr. arrived with wife Melania, wearing a black backless gown with an empire waist by Versace. NBC morning guy Matt Lauer, with wife Annette Roque, said he enjoyed the performance quite a bit, despite not really knowing his way around a plié. “Do I look like the kind of guy that did ballet?” he asked the Transom. Sorry we asked, sir....
Meanwhile, Taylor Momsen, who plays improbably impoverished Brooklyn private school brat Jenny Humphrey on Gossip Girl, arrived with her parents, wearing a gown that appeared a bit roomy on her 14-year-old frame. “It’s wild, I love New York,” said Ms. Momsen, who grew up in St. Louis. “There is just so much to do.” The actress took ballet for nine years. “I started when I was 3, when it was all about tutus and stuff, so I didn’t really know what I was doing,” she said, marveling at the show: “The clothes and the dancing and the legs in the air!”

































