Nuptializing the Bushes: Somewhere off on a Texan plain, presidential daughter Jenna Bush ties the knot in an Oscar de la Renta gown while pappy counts the days until he can forget all about this whole unfortunate presidential thing and get back to clearing the brush and watching baseball! Meanwhile in Prospect Park, Mayor Bloomie continues his quest to make the air breathable around here and promotes his MillionTreesNYC initiative (The plan: Plant a million trees by 2017. Can we ship out the residents of Williamsburg to make room for them?) with a charming tree adoption event! (That sound you hear is our biological clock getting excited!) Prospective tree parents (two-parent homes will be given preference) can choose their little one from breeds such as Red Bud, Cherry, Crabapple, Sweetgum, Oak, Tulip Poplar and Buckeye. Of course, our skinny, unemployed musician is concerned about the cost of fertilizer. …

[MillionTreesNYC Adoption event, CENYC Greenmarket, Grand Army Plaza, Prospect Park NW Entrance, Brooklyn, 8 a.m. to 2 p.m.]