On Friday night, the authors and graphic designers of the latest book from the deadpan satirists at The Onion walked the one whole block from their office to the Apple store in Soho, to promote Our Dumb World: The Onion’s Atlas of the Planet Earth (73rd Edition) -- now with "fewer clouds on maps," "better-veiled xenophobia," and "curvier latitude lines."

In a shameless act of cross-promotion between new and old media, a narrated slideshow was recorded so that iTunes users could download it as a podcast--which, of course, would promote the audiobook version of the atlas (available on iTunes for $15.95, natch).  read more »

Will Oldham has always been fascinated with pop icons (check out this video for Kanye West’s “Can’t Tell Me”). He’ll take on R. Kelly, Danzig, and Bjork with his Bonnie ‘Prince’ Billy outfit release Ask Forgiveness. It will include eight covers in all.

New York Mag inspires us to finish The Brothers Karamozov starting tonight. We swear!

Jay-Z will come out of his 23rd retirement to perform at the Hammerstein Ballroom on Nov. 13.

iTunes revs up their film archives. Selma Blair’s boobs, which star in Ed Burns’ new movie Purple Violets, are going to look mighty tiny on the iPod screen.

A documentary about Karl Lagerfield will screen at Film Forum tomorrow night, with the director on hand for discussion about black clothes and Nicole Kidman.

The new iPhone lets callers surf the net, access iTunes, and do other fun Internet stuff. In political terms, it may also be the gadget the pushes the issue of city- or region-wide access to wifi technology.

The Economic Development Corporation is still conducting a feasibility study about whether or not to build a wifi system for the city, something that is already in place in Philadelphia, San Francisco and Albany.

As internet activist Andrew Raisej likes to say, "We're leading in Broadway, but not with broadband."

In an aptly timed statement, she said, "It is clear that we must continue to build on the innovations brought forth by the Internet. This means ensuring more affordable broadband access and ensuring that there continues to be open, unimpaired and unencumbered Internet access for both its users and content providers."

At an appearance this morning in midtown at the Personal Democracy Forum, he gave a lengthy policy speech without once referring to the fact that he's not technically governor yet.

Spitzer's talk on New York's "digital divide" and the need for state government to facilitate universally accessible, affordable broadband technology went over well enough, drawing repeated applause in an auditorium filled with people balancing computers on their laps.

He went on to lay out a vision of the near future that was heavily inspired, by the sounds of it, by Personal Democracy founder Andrew Rasiej: upstate farmers remotely controlling milking machines, fire and police dispatchers receiving marching orders from anywhere in the field and constituents complaining to their elected officials through wireless broadband technology.

Still, it's a nice problem for him to have: a genuine wonk, he's talking about governing half a year out from the actual election, even before his policy platform is fully formed.

"The future of New York," Spitzer said, "doesn't belong to the armies of the status quo."

*** Hank Stuever, Style reporter

I think we've overlistened to people who never read the paper, and yet insist it include more about their neighborhoods, lives, and concerns. A newspaper is filled with criminals, celebrities and fools and I for one am happy when it doesn't include my life or neighborhood in theirs.

Why are we obsessed with the paper being too much, too large? Our counterparts at McDonalds, Google, iTunes, Comcast Digital, The Cheesecake Factory and Barnes & Noble have already learned: People do not complain because something is too big and they can't possibly read, listen to, watch or eat it all in one sitting. (American consumers so rarely seem to be saying this, except in newspaper focus groups. Otherwise, they seem to enjoy being overwhelmed.)

So I really do reach for my air-sickness bag when we start passing around prototypes of a redesigned A1 with rails and time-savers, and an AME wonders (in yesterday's critique) if it might be good idea execute a blanket reduction in story lengths. If we want to redesign the paper to make it look like the coolest thing on the planet, fine, that's an image crisis I can live with. I prefer that if we do, the aesthetic end result reminds me of walking into the Apple Store, and not of a bulletin board in a middle school social-studies classroom.

Now The Transom loves the image of Oprah Winfrey, world's top-earning synergist, stomping on some lil' 20-year-old gal over an allegation of digital manipulation, as it were.

the purported letter from winfrey's lawyer is a fabrication from you or "your team." perhaps that's how you think publicity will be generated. however, we spoke today with counsel at oprah's production company and her outside law firm and both said they knew nothing about the letter. also, we spoke with marty singer's office at lavely & singer and they, too, disowned any knowledge of the letter (and, i might add, were not pleased to hear that someone is trying to make it seem that he has authored a threatening cease and desist letter). perhaps this misguided action will eventually result in some real legal letters directed your way.

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