Baltimore Orioles

I heard the Yankee fans booing Randy Johnson yesterday, something The Times today did not mention. It makes you wonder whether the combination of New York's unique fanbase (a lot of jerks), the in-your-face media, and Johnson's own doubts about his quadragenarian talents won't result in a meltdown.

Yankee-haters like myself (Baltimore Orioles fan) welcome these developments. My friend Dan Swanson, a White Sox fan, says that booing Johnson is like leaning on the horn when you're seven back in a traffic jam: It only happens in New York, and it will only worsen the situation: "It is defeatist and unintelligent. If they want to help the guy, they should cheer him."

AIMEE: Brian and I settle in for our final consult with our wedding planner Jennifer Arezzo of A Simple Wish and the barrage of questions begins: menu choices, linens, gift bags, songlist...songlist, stop! Now she's hit a hot-button issue, one we care about deeply. We've got a dancing crowd and the band, which I chose partly because they had played Cal Ripken Jr's wedding years ago and I'm a big Orioles fan (so kill me, there are worse ways to make decisions and they really are supposedly one of the best in Baltimore), had promised me they would learn a slew of new songs by April. I was looking for a little Black Eyed Peas, some Gwen Stefani, a Beyonce or two.

Jennifer hands me the list. It's organized by decade so I flip past the 50s, 60s, 70s and 80s to get to the heading "Current." Jennifer is ominously silent as I read down the page and see the five songs listed which include Cher's "Believe" and something by Kenny G. The panic sets in. I struggle to remain calm.

"Um, so this is the NEW list?" It can't be. It can't be. "I mean, Kenny G??!!!"

Jennifer speaks in a low tone, like a mother talking to her child who lost her favorite toy. "I've been sick about this. But I have it in writing that we booked them contingent upon them learning 10-15 new songs."

I'm a bride in the headlights.

"I know," Jennifer says. "I promise we'll get this fixed..." Now she tries to distract me: "Have you thought about when you want to take pictures?" But I can't concentrate on anything besides Kenny G.

I have a painful 24 hours, but the very next day I get an email from Jennifer: The band's finally buckling down to focus on what they need to: Black Eyed Peas' "Let's Get It Started" for starters. Victory.

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