Elizabeth Hayt

The New York Post greets plastic-surgery magazine Skin Deep today with a collection of quotes from the new title, assembled into a damning portrait of superficiality:

* "It's a month before your wedding and you want everything to be just perfect! ... The good news is that you can get that Hollywood smile you've been dreaming of."
* "Pregnancy is a special time in a woman's life, but invariably the 'mark of pregnancy' produces changes in her body which are less desirable. Fortunately, excellent treatments are available."

Good stuff! And here are some quotes from recent issues of the Post:

* "For me, modest shaping with a Lady Panasonic does the job just fine. My anti-aging measures notwithstanding, my decision to keep my feminine fleece comes from my concern for future appearances." ( WHEN BALD ISN'T BEAUTIFUL, by Elizabeth Hayt, January 9, 2006)
* "If you're Bonnie Fuller, you're taking a week off. Skiing in Utah with the family." (SCHMOOZING IS A SPORT I KNOW, by Cindy Adams, January 13, 2006)
* "Things one is suddenly required to have a strong opinion on: the new Strokes record (uninspired or solid?); James Frey (huckster or victim?); 'Match Point' (re-tread or reinvention?). The pressure!" (HOT LIST, by Maureen Callahan, January 15, 2006)
* "No network ever offered to turn any of my ideas into a TV show — not even such surefire concepts as 'Who's Afraid of Virginia Ham?', which combines the how-to elements of a cooking show with the domestic conflict of an Edward Albee play..." ( 'LOVE' THE ONE YOU'RE WITH, by Adam Buckman, January 17, 2006)
* "So, the GGs are over, but the mammaries linger on. Drew Barrymore needed support, and Pamela Anderson needed another room!" (EYES ON CELEBS & THEIR BODS, by Liz Smith, January 19, 2005)

—Matt Haber  read more »

Elizabeth Hayt’s I’m No Saint kicks off with the author going down on her bridesmaid the night b  read more »

Elizabeth Hayt’s I’m No Saint kicks off with the author going down on her bridesmaid the  read more »

Ladies and gentlemen, meet the newest most expensive apartment in New York; the $50-million Upper East side mansion, owned by Jaqui Safra and his lover, Jean Doumanian.

Do you crazies feel like the New York Times isn't paying attention to you? Well you're right--they've eliminated the 'kook fax' machine (2nd item). How will the nutjobs make contact now?

How do you become one of the select few uber-galleries in Manhattan? Well, first you've got to have more than just one gallery, of course--but you've also got to bankroll the hell out of your artists. Great rivers of cash money flow down 10th Avenue! Hoy hoy!

In The Transom; The master Zen rock garden builder comes to New York for his first mission--downstairs from Norah Jones in the Carl Fischer building; a party for U2 goes hideously wrong; and Chelsea's best and brightest galleries clamor for better spaces.

What will Mayor Bloomberg leave behind? Maybe nothing at all.  read more »

In the cultcha pages, Suzy Hansen rips would-be slut Elizabeth Hayt a new one, and Ron Rosenbaum is really totally over Larry David.

And then, of course, there's this: The Great Gay Outdoors, which seems like something the staff of the Socialist Party News might write as an editorial for Latin Inches after an eight-hour Sex and the City marathon. Only in New York, kids, etc., etc.